Introduction Letter
Subject Line: Self Introduction
Dear Prof Brad,
My name is Daryl Chow, and I’m from the mechanical engineering
degree program. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in
aeronautical engineering. My interest in engineering started during my poly
days, and it has grown ever since. I even had the opportunity to work as a
technician in the navy during my ns, which I absolutely enjoyed and further
cemented my passion for engineering.
A strength I possessed in terms of communication is my ability
to work well with people in a professional working environment. During my time
in the navy, they would focus more on a professional working culture, rather
than a militarized one. Hence, I was able to get a sense of how a proper working
environment should be. In order to fit in and establish myself, I learn to
converse with my superiors and colleagues confidently, building a professional
relationship with them. We held small meetings every day to discuss the works
and plans for the day ahead, which forces me to speak and communicate with
them.
On the other hand, a particular weakness that I struggle
throughout my life is my ability to engage in a conversation with strangers. Whenever
I’m in a new environment, I find it tough to warm up to strangers, and I would
tend to stutter my words and speed up the conversation, thus, often placing
myself in awkward situations.
Through this communication module, I hoped to be more
confident at holding a conversation with strangers, and be able to articulate
myself when speaking in front of an audience. I look forward to the skills and knowledge I'll gain from this module that would be
useful when I enter the workforce.
Best regards,
Daryl
Dear Daryl,
ReplyDeleteplease allow me to highlight a few pointers with regards to your letter.
1. Connector & Transition ie. 'during my poly days and it has grown ever since' instead of 'during my poly days, and it has grown ever since' commas before and are not needed.
2. Run-on Sentence ie 'as a technician in the navy during my ns, which I absolutely enjoyed and further cemented my passion for engineering'
3. Verb Tense ie. 'A strength I possessed in terms of communication' means a strength you used to have but absent at the moment.
4. Verb Tense ie 'communication module, I hope to be more confident' instead of 'communication module, I hoped to be more confident'
Best Regards,
Aloysius
Dear Aloysius,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and I appreciate your generous feedback!
Best regards,
Daryl
Dear Daryl,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Heng Loong, and I'm one of your buddies from the blogging group. I truly enjoyed learning about you in this letter and feel that it's been written fairly well. It was fascinating in a sense it allows me to get to know you better. Your self-introduction flowed smoothly and it addressed all the points raised. I was intrigued by your past Navy experience, on how you actively hone your interpersonal communication skills and foster a satisfactory working relationship with your superiors and colleagues. I appreciate your explanation of your strengths and weakness, as you do, because of my anxiety issues, I also tend to stutter during presentation . All in all, let's continue to work and support one another to overcome our shortcomings.
Best regards,
Heng Loong
Dear Daryl,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and well-developed letter. You address all the touchpoints of the assignment and you provide clear specific detail. In terms of the comm skills weakness and strength, this is especially true, and the reflection resonates in your module goals as well.
There are a few minor language issues:
-- during my ns, > (need in this case for caps of th acronym)
-- A strength I possessed in terms of communication is > (verb tense) ?
-- During my time in the navy, they would focus > (who?)
-- I learn to converse > (tense?)
-- which forces me to speak and communicate with them. > (tense)
-- I would tend to stutter my words > I would tend to stutter
I appreciate the effort.
Brad